What is the ruling on performing istinja' after passing wind from the anus?

Ablution is invalidated by passing wind from the anus, even without a smell. Only ablution becomes obligatory from it. Istinja' is not obligatory nor recommended. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible for a girl to wear colored contact lenses?

All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds.

Wearing colored contact lenses for medical treatment is permissible, and wearing them as an adornment is also permissible, provided that she isn`t seen while having them on by non-Mahrams. And Alalh Knows Best.

Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

Should one obey his mother even if she was wrong?

Obeying one`s mother is an obligation in matters that are beneficial to her and so long as she didn't drive her children to commit an act of sin.