Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
How is night prayer offered?
Night prayer is offering voluntary prayer after Maghrib and before Fajr (Dawn). As for Tahajjud, it is offering voluntary prayer at night after waking up voluntarily, and for Allah`s sake as He Says (What means): "And pray in the small watches of the morning: (it would be) an additional prayer (or spiritual profit) for thee: soon will thy Lord raise thee to a Station of Praise and Glory!" [Al-Isra`/79]. Offering Tahajjud is better than offering voluntary prayer before going to bed.
Where should a woman following her husband or another man in prayer stand?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
If a single woman prays with a man—whether she is his wife or a non-mahram (Ajnabiyyah)—the Sunnah is for her to stand behind the Imam and be shielded by him. If the Imam is leading both a man and a woman, the man should stand to the Imam's right, and the woman should stand behind the male follower (Muqtadi). In this way, she is shielded from the Imam by the male follower and remains at a distance from the follower and his line of sight. And Allah the Exalted knows best.
What is the ruling on istinja' after urination, and is it done with water and soap or with water only?
Istinja' from urine and stool is obligatory. It is permissible to perform istinja' with water alone, or with toilet paper alone. The best way is with toilet paper then water. If one wishes to suffice with one of them, then water is better. And Allah the Almighty knows best.