How are those killed in wars punished with the torment of the grave if they are not buried?
The torment of the grave refers to the suffering that the deceased experiences between the day of their death and the Day of Resurrection, which is called the Barzakh period. Similarly, it includes the blessings of the grave, whether the deceased is buried or not. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best
Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.
Is it permissible for a woman to visit the doctor while in her `Iddah (waiting period)?
It is permissible for her to do that during day time, but it is impermissible for her to leave her house at night except for a sound reason. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.