Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing both openings (Istinjaa`) a must before every ablution?
Washing the front and back openings (Istinjaa`) is a must in case they have an impurity, but if they do not, there is no need for that, and Istinjaa` is not a condition for the validity of ablution.
Is Iddah (waiting period) incumbent on an old woman whose husband had died?
Upon the death of the husband, Iddah is incumbent on the wife regardless of their age. And Allah Knows Best.
What should a person, who doubts the validity of his Wudu, or over performs it, do?
One who doubts the validity of his/her Wudu while performing it should redo it until he/she is certain of having attained purity. But, if doubt was after having performed Wudu, then he/she should not pay attention to that as doubt after the end of an act of worship does not count. This is of course in case doubt was within the reasonable limits since once it goes beyond that, it becomes a whispering of the Shaytaan (devil) which he/she should ignore as the Wudu is valid.