Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
What is the wisdom behind legislating the Udhiyah?
The Muslim must know that through the Uḍḥiyah, he complies with the command of Allah, the Exalted, and performs a worship that brings him closer to Allah and distances him from the Fire.
The Uḍḥiyah holds profound wisdoms and noble meanings, including:
1-Reviving the Sunnah of Abraham, peace be upon him: He complied with Allah's command when He ordered him to slaughter his son Ishmael. Abraham, peace be upon him, succeeded in the test, and when he was about to slaughter his son, Allah sent down a ram to ransom Ishmael and commanded him to slaughter it instead. Allah, the Exalted, says {what means]: "And when he reached with him [the age of] exertion, he said, 'O my son, indeed I have seen in a dream that I [must] sacrifice you, so see what you think.' He said, 'O my father, do as you are commanded. You will find me, if Allah wills, of the steadfast.' And when they had both submitted and he put him down upon his forehead, We called to him, 'O Abraham, You have fulfilled the vision.' Indeed, We thus reward the doers of good. Indeed, this was the clear trial. And We ransomed him with a great sacrifice." [Al-Ṣāffāt/102-107]. Thus, the sacrificial offering became an enduring Sunnah until the Day of Judgment, and Muslims offer their wealth as sacrifices, drawing closer to Allah, the Exalted, reviving this great Sunnah.
2-Providing abundance for people on Eid day and the Days of Tashrīq: Among the wisdoms of the Uḍḥiyah is that the Muslim provides generously for his family, neighbors, relatives, and the poor during these days. The Muslim is encouraged to eat from his sacrifice, give charity from it to the poor, and gift from it to his wealthy neighbors. Thus, goodness spreads throughout the entire community. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "The Days of Tashrīq are days of eating and drinking." (Narrated by Muslim). Allah, the Exalted, says {what means}: "And the camels and cattle We have appointed for you as among the symbols of Allah; for you therein is good." [Al-Ḥajj/36]. This good includes the good of both this world and the Hereafter.
How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.
What is the ruling on offering an Udhiyah on behalf of another with their permission?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible for a person to offer a sacrifice (Udhiyah) on behalf of someone else with their permission, even if the person performing it has not offered a sacrifice for themselves. It is stated in Sharh Manhaj al-Tullab (Vol.5/P.261) by Zakariya al-Ansari: "No one may offer a sacrifice on behalf of another without their permission... as opposed to when permission has been granted." And Allah the Almighty knows best.
