My engagement to a young man was announced and blessed by both our families reciting Al-Fatihah. Is it permissible that I take off my Hijab in his presence?

Is it permissible for us to sever ties of kinship if our blood-relatives` gatherings/meetings involve acts of sin?

Observing kinship ties is obligatory, and paying your blood-relatives a visit causing their sinful acts to be hindered , then you should do so. However, if their sinful acts continue while you are at their gathering and they didn't respond positively, then observing kinship ties via telephone and the like will suffice in this case. And Allah Knows 

Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?

Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.