Should a person feel pleased, or have a virtuous vision after offering Istikhara (guidance prayer) in order to do what he/she had offered it for?
The result of the Istikhaarah is not necessarily that a person sees something (in his dream), or feels pleased, but the most important result of the Istikhaarah is whether a person is enabled to do a given matter or not.
What is the ruling on swearing a false oath by the Holy Quran?
Swearing a false oath by the Holy Quran dips the oath-taker in Hellfire, and one who had done so should turn to Allah in repentance, seek His forgiveness, give back rights to whom they belong, and pay the oath expiation.
Is it permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer?
Yes, it is permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer.
What is the ruling on purchasing sacrificial animals and authorizing their slaughter via telephone?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is preferable for the one offering a sacrifice (udhiyah) to slaughter the animal himself, in adherence to the Sunnah, or to be present at the slaughter if possible.
It is valid to authorize a butcher to purchase a sacrificial animal on his behalf and slaughter it, regardless of whether the animal is owned by the butcher or the butcher is acting as an agent in its sale—according to the Hanbali school—provided that the butcher specifically designates and purchases the animal for the person offering the sacrifice before slaughtering it. And Allah Almighty knows best.