Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What type of illness that permits breaking the fast in Ramadan?
It is an illness that, if one fasts, there is a fear it may lead to their death or cause unbearable hardship.
Can someone who begins a voluntary fast break it?
It is preferable for someone who begins an act of worship not to break it.
Allah the Exalted has said {what means}: "and let not your [good] deeds come to nought!" [Muhammad/33].
However, if a person starts a voluntary fast (nafl) and needs to break it, they are going against what is preferable, but there is no sin upon them.
Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.