Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it true that if a ritually impure, or a menstruating woman visits one who is in confinement, harm will be inflicted on the latter, or her baby?
This is completely wrong and unfounded piece of information.
I swear that I will leave the religion of Allah if I return to smoking" and then returned to smoking. What is the ruling?
Whoever conditions disbelief on something and intends to disbelieve if it happens, he becomes a disbeliever immediately. Therefore, you must pronounce the two testimonies of faith (Shahada) and reconcile with your wife if she is in her waiting period (Iddah). It is recommended to consult the Department of Fatwa for further guidance. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a wife to leave her house without asking her husband?
It is impermissible for the wife to leave her house without asking her husband except for a sound reason.