Is it permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer?
Yes, it is permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer.
What is the ruling if hemorrhoid blood exits after completing ablution?
If this blood is exiting from outside the anus (due to the hemorrhoid protruding), it does not invalidate ablution, because blood exiting from the body from other than the two orifices does not invalidate ablution. If it exits from the anus (meaning from inside it), it invalidates ablution, and one must perform istinja' from it, wash the area of impurity, and repeat the ablution.
However, if this blood exits continuously such that no time remains sufficient for purification and prayer without it flowing, then it takes the ruling of urinary incontinence (sals al-bawl). One then cleanses from it after the time for each prayer enters, performs ablution immediately thereafter, and performs the obligatory prayer immediately. There is no liability upon him after that if something of it flows, and he may pray as many voluntary prayers as he wishes. If he wants to pray another obligatory prayer, he must cleanse himself and perform ablution. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on speaking while relieving oneself?
It is disliked for one relieving himself to speak while doing so, except out of necessity. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is prayer nullified by nose bleed?
All praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds. Blood coming out of the nose, or a wound doesn`t nullify prayer regardless of its quantity. And Allah Knows Best.