What is the wisdom and purpose behind the 'aqīqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
Among the wisdoms and purposes of the 'aqīqah are the following:
First: Expressing joy at the blessing of Allah the Almighty, rejoicing in the newborn, and giving thanks to Allah for this gift. Allah the Almighty says (what means): "If you are grateful, I will surely increase you." [Ibrāhīm/7]
Second: Proclaiming and publicising the lineage (nasab) of the child — and the 'aqīqah serves as an appropriate and fitting means to this end.
Third: Gladdening the hearts of family members, relatives, friends, and the poor by gathering them together over a shared meal. And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible for a husband to stop his wife from visiting her family?
A husband shouldn`t stop his wife from visiting her family, and it is disliked for him to do so because such an act makes them harbor feelings of hatred against him.
Is it permissible to give to the poor from among the People of the Book from the Udhiyah?
Praise be to Allah, and prayers and peace be upon our Master the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible to give to the poor among the People of the Book from a voluntary sacrifice (uḍḥiyyat taṭawwuʿ), just as it is permissible to give charity (ṣadaqah) to them. This opinion is a view (wajh) within the Shāfiʿī school, which was favored by al-Muḥibb al-Ṭabarī and Imam al-Nawawī. [See: Ḥāshiyat Ibn Qāsim al-ʿAbbādī ʿalā Tuḥfat al-Muḥtāj (Vol.9/P.365)]. And Allah Almighty knows best.