Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?

The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.

Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?

No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it allowed to shave my beard to join the army taking into consideration that I can`t find a job?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

The army should be joined in preparation for Jihad (Fighting in the cause of Allah), so if Jihad contradicts with growing a beard then it is allowed to shave it. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.  

Generally speaking, I`m dutiful to my mother and opt for obeying her. However, she chose a certain girl to be my future wife, but I`m not pleased with her choice although that girl comes from a good family and enjoys good character. Should I obey my mother or choose another girl that lives up to my expectations?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.

One must obey their parents in whatever is in compliance with the teachings of Sharia and within one`s capacity. However, you aren`t to blame for not marrying that girl, but it is better that you tell your mother about that and it is preferable that you perform Istikharah prayer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.