I swear that I will leave the religion of Allah if I return to smoking" and then returned to smoking. What is the ruling?

What is the ruling on performing istinja' with perfumed tissues or a tissue moistened with water?

Performing istinja' with perfumed or moistened tissues is not sufficient if they are not dry, due to the moisture on them reaching the impurity, which increases its spread rather than reducing it. Then, to remove the impurity, one must use pure water. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on istibra' and how is it performed?

Istibra' (cleansing from urine) is recommended. It is for a person to ensure that nothing remains of urine in its passage before performing istinja'. Its method is: to clear the throat (or cough slightly), shake the penis (meaning to pass fingers along it to expel any remaining urine if needed), and walk a few steps to the extent that one thinks nothing of urine remains if walking is needed. Each person knows his own nature best. The preferred opinion is that this differs among people. The objective is for one to think that nothing remains in the urinary passage that he fears will exit later. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

A pious man proposed to me and my father was hesitant in this regard because he is black, am I sinful if I accepted his proposal?

If the suitor is pious, color isn`t a drawback. However, try talking to your father kindly, so that he approves of your marriage with contentment, and that is better for you.