Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Is it permissible for a financially capable woman to pay the Zakat to her sons or one of them?
It is permissible for a mother to give her children from zakat if they are eligible to receive it, even though she is obligated to provide for them. This is based on the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) regarding Zainab, the wife of Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with them): "Your husband and your children are more deserving of your charity" [Al-Bukhari]. And Allah Knows Best.
Is permissible to buy/sell with non-Muslim?
Yes buying/selling for a Muslim with non-Muslim is permissible as regards what is lawful.
What is the ruling on a woman shaking hands with the brothers of her husband`s father, and not putting on Islamic wear before them?
The aforesaid are strangers to the their brother`s son`s wife, therefore, it is forbidden for her to take off her Islamic wear before them, or to shake hands with them.