Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
What is the ruling on the ablution of one who touches his wife without a barrier?
In the Shafi'i school, a man's ablution is invalidated by touching his wife if their skins meet (in any place) without a barrier, whether the touch is intentional or accidental. An exception to this is touching hair, teeth, or nails; these do not invalidate ablution. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible to make ablution without answering the call of nature after waking up?
Washing front and back openings (Istinjaa`) is not a condition for the validity of ablution because it is done to remove Najaasah (impurity), thus if there is no Najaasah, there is no need for that, and then it is permissible to make ablution without answering the call of nature. However, prayer is invalidated if there is Najaasah on the anus ,or the front opening, so it (Najaasah) must be removed for the prayer to become valid, and not the ablution.