What is the ruling on one who doubts washing a limb before or after finishing ablution?
If a person performing ablution doubts leaving the washing of a limb from the limbs of ablution during his ablution, he must repeat washing that limb and wash what comes after it. If he doubts leaving the washing of a limb after finishing the ablution, there is nothing upon him. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on istinja' after urination, and is it done with water and soap or with water only?
Istinja' from urine and stool is obligatory. It is permissible to perform istinja' with water alone, or with toilet paper alone. The best way is with toilet paper then water. If one wishes to suffice with one of them, then water is better. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on the ablution of one who touches his wife without a barrier?
In the Shafi'i school, a man's ablution is invalidated by touching his wife if their skins meet (in any place) without a barrier, whether the touch is intentional or accidental. An exception to this is touching hair, teeth, or nails; these do not invalidate ablution. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
I`m a pious Muslim woman, but my husband isn`t, what should I do?
You should exercise patience, make supplication that Allah guides him to the straight path, and keep advising him kindly.