What is the ruling on performing istinja' before every ablution?
Istinja' is not from the conditions for the validity of ablution. It is only obligatory for prayer when there is impurity from urine or stool on the private part, or if there is fear of the impurity spreading to the body or clothing. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on one who feels drops of urine falling during ablution?
If he is certain that urine is exiting from him during ablution, then his ablution is invalidated. He must remove the impurity from his clothes and body and repeat the ablution.
However, if what he feels regarding urine exiting is merely doubt or illusion, then ablution is not invalidated by doubt and illusion. He should not pay attention to it, and it is not permissible for him to follow the doubt and whispers that corrupt his religion. And Allah the almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?
Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband. And Allah Knows Best.