Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?

The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.

How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?

Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is Zakah (obligatory charity) due on the Zakah money received by a poor person, and reached a Nissab (minimum amount liable for Zakah), and a whole lunar year had lapsed over having it in his possession?

Yes, the poor who possessed a Nissab for a whole lunar year is obliged to pay the Zakah due on that money even if it was given to him as a Zakah money in the first place. And Allah Knows Best.

I`m in love with a certain man, and want to marry him in particular, but my family refused that, what should I do?