What is the ruling on istibra' and how is it performed?

Istibra' (cleansing from urine) is recommended. It is for a person to ensure that nothing remains of urine in its passage before performing istinja'. Its method is: to clear the throat (or cough slightly), shake the penis (meaning to pass fingers along it to expel any remaining urine if needed), and walk a few steps to the extent that one thinks nothing of urine remains if walking is needed. Each person knows his own nature best. The preferred opinion is that this differs among people. The objective is for one to think that nothing remains in the urinary passage that he fears will exit later. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?

The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.

What is the ruling on a woman using contraception without her husband's knowledge if he is mistreating her?

What is the ruling on attending relatives` parties held in public halls, or hotels since if we don`t, we will be subjected to their admonition?

If such parties involve mixing between men and women, or forbidden acts such as listening to songs with sinful lyrics, then attending them is forbidden from the view point of Sharia since people`s admonition is nothing compared to Allah`s, The Almighty`s, wrath.