Is it permissible to swear by (Allah "The Living")?
Yes, it is permissible because "The Living" is one of Allah`s Attributes.
When is Istikharah (guidance prayer) Du`a offered, before Tasleem (saying asalamu alikum warahmatu allah wa barakatuh to end the prayer), or after it?
It is offered after Tasleem.
Is it permissible to make up for the missed fasts of the deceased?
A deceased`s missed fasts should be made up for by his/her guardian. It is also permissible to make up for the missed fasts of a deceased relative, and to pay a ransom in expiation for the latter`s missed fasts, which is feeding a needy person for every missed day. However, the guardian`s permission need to be sought by the non-relatives of the dead to fast on his behalf. And Allah Knows Best.
What is teh ruling on thoughtless oath?
One who swears by Allah unintentionally and isn`t determined to fulfill his oath, nothing is due on him. Allah, The Almighty, Says (What means): "God will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing." [Al-Baqarah/225]. However, it is dispraised for a Muslim to swear frequently.