What is the ruling on istinja' after urination, and is it done with water and soap or with water only?
Istinja' from urine and stool is obligatory. It is permissible to perform istinja' with water alone, or with toilet paper alone. The best way is with toilet paper then water. If one wishes to suffice with one of them, then water is better. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
If a father stops his daughter from getting married, is it permissible for her to conclude the marriage contract herself?
It is permissible for the father to stop his daughter from getting married if there was a lawful reason for that, and she isn`t allowed to conclude the marriage contract without her guardian. However, if her father denied her right in getting married for an unlawful reason, then she should go to court.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.