Where should a woman who is led by her husband in prayer stand?
All perfect praise be to Allah The Lord of The Worlds It is from Sunnah (Prophetic tradition) that she stands behind him. And Allah Knows Best.
What is the ruling on performing istinja' before every ablution?
Istinja' is not from the conditions for the validity of ablution. It is only obligatory for prayer when there is impurity from urine or stool on the private part, or if there is fear of the impurity spreading to the body or clothing. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What is the ruling on entering the toilet with something containing the remembrance of Allah?
It is disliked to bring into the toilet anything containing a reminder of Allah, such as the Quran or a sacred name (like the name of Allah, Muhammad, etc.). If one does that, etiquette dictates that he conceal it so it is not visible while entering the toilet, either by cupping his hands over it, putting it in his pocket, or inside his shirt if it is a necklace or ring. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.