I`m infatuated with a man, is it permissible for me to make supplication that he falls in love with me and becomes my husband?

Islam has honored women by being proposed to by men, and not the other way around, so it is inappropriate for a woman to propose to a man since one who hastens in asking for a thing prematurely shall be punished by deprivation. In fact, such a phenomenon is the result of unlawful mixing between the two sexes.

How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?

Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.

Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

Where should a woman following her husband or another man in prayer stand?