Is a woman sinful if she fasts out of shyness from her family while menstruating or in postnatal bleeding?
It is forbidden for a woman who is menstruating or in postnatal bleeding to abstain from food and drink with the intention of fasting. If she fasts out of shyness, she is sinful, as her fast is not valid.
However, if she refrains from eating and drinking without intending to fast, it is not forbidden, but she unnecessarily burdens herself without need.
What should the one performing the slaughter say at the time of slaughtering the 'aqīqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is Sunnah to say the following supplication at the time of slaughtering the 'aqīqah:
"Bismillāhi wallāhu Akbar, Allāhumma laka wa ilayka, hādhihi 'aqīqatu fulān."
("In the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest. O Allah, this is for You and unto You — this is the 'aqīqah of [the child's name].")
This is based on what al-Bayhaqī narrated in Al-Sunan al-Kubrā (Vol.9/P.511), that the Prophet ﷺ said: "Slaughter it in his name and say: In the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest. O Allah, this is for You and unto You — this is the 'aqīqah of so-and-so."
And Allah Almighty knows best.
What is the best manner in distributing the meat of the Aqeeqah?
It is better to divide all of it as cooked meat amongst the poor and the needy. Dividing it into three portions is a Sunnah, but it is permissible to keep all of it provided that a portion, even a small one, is given to the poor and needy (one kilo for example).
Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.