What is the ruling on a mother giving the Zakat of her wealth to her children?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible for a mother to give her children from the Zakat if they are among those who are eligible for it—such as being poor (Fuqara), possessing no wealth, and not being sufficiently provided for by the maintenance (Nafaqah) of others. This is based on the statement of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ regarding Zaynab, the wife of 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with them both): (Your husband and your children are the most deserving of those upon whom you spend in charity) [Narrated by Al-Bukhari].
It is stated in [Al-Hawi al-Kabir, Vol. 8/P.537]: 'As for the wife, it is permissible for her to pay her Zakat to her husband from all the designated shares... Our evidence is the generality of the saying of Allah the Almighty: "Zakat expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy", and the Hadith of Abu Hurairah that the Prophet ﷺ said to Zaynab, the wife of 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: (Your husband and your children are the most deserving of those upon whom you spend), and this is taken in its general sense.' And Allah the Exalted knows best.
Is it permissible for household members to pool money for the Udhiyah and gift it to one of them?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible for members of a household to pool their money together and gift the total amount to one individual among them so that he may offer the sacrifice (Udhiyah). In this case, the family members receive the reward for giving charity (Sadaqah), and the one performing the sacrifice includes them in the spiritual reward (Thawab).
Furthermore, slaughtering a single sheep (on one's own) is considered religously better than participating as one of seven people in the sacrifice of a cow or a camel. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible to appoint a proxy for the sacrificial offering outside Jordan?
In the name of Allah; all praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible to appoint a proxy—whether an individual or a charitable organization—to perform the sacrificial slaughter (Udhiyah) on one’s behalf, even if it is carried out in a country other than that of the donor. This is conditional upon the proxy’s adherence to the established requirements of the Udhiyah, including the animal’s age, its freedom from physical defects, the designated timing of the slaughter, and the proper distribution of the meat.
However, it is preferable for the one offering the sacrifice to perform the slaughter personally, in order to attain the full reward and blessings of the act. And Allah (Exalted be He) knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.