What is the ruling of Islamic Law on kissing while fasting?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is prohibitively disliked (makrūh taḥrīman) for a husband to engage in foreplay with or kiss his wife during the daylight hours of Ramaḍān if doing so stirs his desire. If pre-seminal fluid (madhī) is released as a result, the fast is not invalidated; however, if seminal fluid (manī) is released, the fast is broken.
Imām al-Khaṭīb al-Sharbīnī, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated: "It is prohibitively disliked to kiss — whether on the mouth or elsewhere — for one whose desire is stirred, whether man or woman, to the extent that he fears it may lead to intercourse or ejaculation. Embracing, touching, and similar acts without a barrier carry the same ruling as kissing in this regard, because such acts expose the act of worship to being corrupted — and as the two Ṣaḥīḥs record: 'Whoever circles around a protected boundary is liable to fall into it.'"
He further added: "It is preferable for one whose desire is not stirred — even if he is a young man — to refrain from such acts as well, so as to close the door entirely. For he may believe his desire has not been aroused when in fact it has. Moreover, it is Sunnah for the fasting person to abstain from all desires without exception." — Summarised with minor adaptation from [Mughnī al-Muḥtāj]. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
I read the Qudsī ḥadīth: "Whoever breaks his wuḍūʾ and does not perform ablution has shown me harshness; whoever performs ablution and does not pray has shown me harshness; whoever prays and does not supplicate to Me has shown me harshness; and whoever supplicates to Me and I do not answer him, then I have been harsh to him, and I am not a harsh Lord." What is the authenticity of this ḥadīth?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
This ḥadīth was mentioned by al-Ṣaghānī (may Allah have mercy on him) in al-Mawḍūʿāt (p. 43), where he said: “Among them is their saying: ‘Whoever breaks his wuḍūʾ and does not perform ablution has shown me harshness; whoever performs ablution and does not pray has shown me harshness; (whoever prays and does not supplicate to Me has shown me harshness); and whoever supplicates to Me and I do not answer him, then I have been harsh to him, and I am not a harsh Lord.’”
Al-ʿAjlūnī (may Allah have mercy on him) cited what al-Ṣaghānī said in Kashf al-Khafāʾ (Vol.2/p.264). And Allah Almighty knows best.
How should I deal with the whispers of the devil with regard to ablution and purity?
Whispers in ablution are from the devil, and so you should take refuge in Allah from the devil`s evil suggestions that aim to distort the religion. Thus, once an organ is completely pure, don`t question its purity since having whispers doesn`t mean that the purity is invalid as it has already been established.
Can a woman perform I‘tikaf in her home?
No, a woman's I‘tikaf is not valid if performed at home, because her home is not a mosque.