What is the ruling on giving the expiation of an oath (Kaffarat al-Yamin) to a charity that feeds the poor?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is allowed for a Muslim to appoint a proxy (agent) to distribute the expiation (Kaffarah) on their behalf. Our jurists have explicitly stated the permissibility of delegation (Tawkil) in the distribution of Zakat, Kaffarah, and vows (Nadr).
It is stated in Mughni al-Muhtaj (Vol.3/P.237): 'One has the right to pay the Zakat of their wealth personally... and they also have the right to delegate it.' And Allah the Exalted knows best.
Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for someone who is unable to fast to pay the fidyah (ransom/compensation payment) to himself, due to his own poverty?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is not permissible, nor does it fulfill the obligation, for a sick person who is currently and permanently unable to fast to pay the fidyah (ransom/compensation payment) to himself, since it is a financial obligation owed by him, established as a standing debt upon him — much like any other debt he owes. If he were to pay it to himself, it would not thereby be discharged. So if he cannot find [anyone eligible to] pay it to, it remains a standing obligation upon him, and is not thereby waived. If Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, later grants him wealth, it becomes obligatory upon him to pay it out to the poor and needy.
Imam al-Khaṭīb ash-Shirbīnī (raḥimahullāh) said: "There is no difference in the obligation of the fidyah between the wealthy and the poor person; its benefit lies in its remaining established as a standing debt upon the poor person [until he is able to pay it] — and this is the more correct position (al-aṣaḥḥ), as indicated by the wording of ar-Rawḍah and its source text." [Mughnī al-Muḥtāj, Vol.2/P.174]
Accordingly: it is not permissible for a Muslim to pay the fidyah to himself while he remains poor. If the sick person is poor, he is not obligated to pay the fidyah immediately, and it remains a standing debt upon him until a time when he has sufficient means and wealth. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.
Is my husband entitled to take my salary?
Your salary is yours, and you may give some of it to him as a kind of free-will contribution.