Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Talking to one's fiancée in Ramadan with romantic talk may lead to arousal, and if pre-ejaculate fluid (Madhy) is discharged as a result, it does not break the fast. However, it is advised to avoid actions that provoke desire and lead to this outcome. If semen (Mani) is discharged as a result, it does break the fast.
The discharge of Madhy doesn't invalidate one's fasting but it invalidates the ablution and his clothes must be washed because they are impure in this case. As for Mani, it breaks one's fast and making up invalidataed is obligatory, beside; a Muslim suitor should abstain from these matters during Ramadan and not to degrade the holy month to this extent. And Allah Knows Best.
How are those killed in wars punished with the torment of the grave if they are not buried?
The torment of the grave refers to the suffering that the deceased experiences between the day of their death and the Day of Resurrection, which is called the Barzakh period. Similarly, it includes the blessings of the grave, whether the deceased is buried or not. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best
