Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it permissible to single out Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays to make up for missed fasting without fasting a day before ,or after each ?
Yes, it is permissible to make up for missed fasting during the aforesaid days, and it is also valid to offer non-obligatory and vowed fasting as well. However, fasting a day before or after each isn`t obligatory. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing both openings (Istinjaa`) a must before every ablution?
Washing the front and back openings (Istinjaa`) is a must in case they have an impurity, but if they do not, there is no need for that, and Istinjaa` is not a condition for the validity of ablution.
What is the ruling on visiting a deceased's grave and supplicating Allah for him by his wife? Is the reward of reciting verses of the Holy Qur'an reaches the deceased?
There is no harm on visiting graveyard by woman with the intention of piety so long as they are dressed in accordance to the Islamic teachings. We ask Allah, The Almighty that the reward of reciting the Holy Qur'an on dedicated to the deceased reaches him. And Allah Knows Best.