Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Is it required for a discerning child to make the intention at night if they wish to fast?
If a discerning child wishes to fast during Ramadan, they must make the intention at night because intention is one of the pillars of fasting, even though fasting is not obligatory for them.
Can a woman perform I‘tikaf in her home?
No, a woman's I‘tikaf is not valid if performed at home, because her home is not a mosque.