What is the ruling on istibra' and how is it performed?

Istibra' (cleansing from urine) is recommended. It is for a person to ensure that nothing remains of urine in its passage before performing istinja'. Its method is: to clear the throat (or cough slightly), shake the penis (meaning to pass fingers along it to expel any remaining urine if needed), and walk a few steps to the extent that one thinks nothing of urine remains if walking is needed. Each person knows his own nature best. The preferred opinion is that this differs among people. The objective is for one to think that nothing remains in the urinary passage that he fears will exit later. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

I`m in love with a certain man, and want to marry him in particular, but my family refused that, what should I do?

Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?

No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible for me to eat from the animal that I slaughtered for Allah to protect my family?

It is permissible to eat from the non-vowed animal sacrifice, and the person is rewarded based on the amount of meat that he had given to the poor. However, there is no evidence in Islamic Sharia indicating that slaughtering an animal protects one`s family, but it is a way for thanking Allah, The Almighty, for his grace.