Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
A pious man proposed to me and my father was hesitant in this regard because he is black, am I sinful if I accepted his proposal?
If the suitor is pious, color isn`t a drawback. However, try talking to your father kindly, so that he approves of your marriage with contentment, and that is better for you.
What is the ruling on istibra' and how is it performed?
Istibra' (cleansing from urine) is recommended. It is for a person to ensure that nothing remains of urine in its passage before performing istinja'. Its method is: to clear the throat (or cough slightly), shake the penis (meaning to pass fingers along it to expel any remaining urine if needed), and walk a few steps to the extent that one thinks nothing of urine remains if walking is needed. Each person knows his own nature best. The preferred opinion is that this differs among people. The objective is for one to think that nothing remains in the urinary passage that he fears will exit later. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a suitor to go out with his fiancé upon the conclusion of the marriage contract?
Upon the conclusion of the marriage contract, the woman becomes lawful for her husband. However, the customary practice should be observed in this regard since rights could be lost in case of divorce, or death.