Is it permissible for a person to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) to his daughter-in-law?
Yes, it is permissible for a person to give the Zakah to his daughter-in-law if she was poor, and none provided for particularly by whom are obliged to provide for her. And Allah Knows Best.
Should water be put in the deceased`s mouth and nose while washing him/her?
Putting water in the mouth and nose of the deceased while washing him is impermissible.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What is the torment of the grave?
We seek refuge in Allah from the torment of the grave. The important point is that the cause of the torment of the grave is disbelief or committing sins without repentance. It affects the soul, and the body is impacted by it, even if we do not see it. And Allah Knows Best.