Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?
It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.
Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?
No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.
Is fasting obligatory for a child?
Fasting is not obligatory for a child until they reach puberty. Puberty is determined by well-known signs, the most common of which are: nocturnal emission (for both males and females), menstruation (for females), or reaching the age of fifteen lunar years.
A guardian must instruct their children to fast once they reach the age of discernment, which is around seven years old, if they are capable of fasting.
What is the ruling on performing istinja' before every ablution?
Istinja' is not from the conditions for the validity of ablution. It is only obligatory for prayer when there is impurity from urine or stool on the private part, or if there is fear of the impurity spreading to the body or clothing. And Allah the Almighty knows best.