Should the Zakah (obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when paying it to the poor. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible to pay the expiation of an oath to a charitable party as it feeds the poor and needy such as Tkiyet Um Ali?
There is no harm on authorizing someone to handle the expiation of another to the poor and needy, since Shafiee's jurists stated that authorizing someone for the purpose of distributing Zakah, expiation and vow is permissible as stated in [Mughni Al-Muhtajj,vol.3/pp.237]. At last, the intention of the person who intends to authorize someone else suffices in this regard. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a financially capable woman to pay the Zakat to her sons or one of them?
It is permissible for a mother to give her children from zakat if they are eligible to receive it, even though she is obligated to provide for them. This is based on the saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) regarding Zainab, the wife of Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with them): "Your husband and your children are more deserving of your charity" [Al-Bukhari]. And Allah Knows Best.
How should I be kind to my atheist father?
Allah, The Exalted, has decreed and ordained his slaves to be kind with parents, even if they are polytheists, by honoring and obeying them in all that isn`t sinful, so that they might love Islam and embrace it as a result.