Is it permissible for a woman in her waiting period (Iddah) after her husband's death to leave her house and mix with non-Mahrams?
It is not permissible for a woman in her waiting period (Iddah) after the death of her husband to leave her house except for a necessity, such as for medical treatment, nor is she allowed to mix with non-Mahrams. A woman is not permitted to mix with anyone other than her husband or Mahrams, whether she is in her waiting period or not. However, there is no harm in accepting condolences from those who visit and responding to their inquiries about her well-being. And Allah Knows Best.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What is the ruling on ablution if vaginal discharge is expelled, and is it impure?
If these discharges exit from the external genitalia (apparent part of the vagina), they are not impure and do not invalidate ablution. If they exit from the internal part, they are impure and do invalidate ablution. If it is uncertain whether they are from the internal or external part, they are not impure and do not invalidate ablution.
The apparent part is what becomes visible when sitting, and what the husband's penis reaches during intercourse is considered part of the apparent. The internal part is what is beyond that. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible to pay the Zakah to my grandmother who lives alone in a rented accommodation with bad conditions noting she had three sons.
Zakah cannot be given to ascendants (parents and grandparents). It is obligatory for her sons and grandsons to provide for her, and they would be sinful if they fail to do so. And Allah Knows Best.
