Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?
Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband. And Allah Knows Best.
How is the niṣāb (minimum threshold) of gold calculated when one owns gold of multiple different karats?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Zakāh is obligatory on cash and on gold designated for saving or for trade, provided the total reaches the niṣāb (minimum threshold liable for Zakah), and a full ḥawl (lunar year) has elapsed over it. The niṣāb is (85) grams of 24-karat gold; for 21-karat gold, the niṣāb equals (97) grams; and for 18-karat gold, it equals (113) grams.
If one owns gold of multiple different karats, the person paying zakāh should calculate the monetary value of all the gold he owns, combining these values together to determine whether the total reaches the niṣāb. He then pays zakāh on this combined monetary value, once the total reaches the niṣāb. The relied-upon position is to calculate the zakāh based on the buying price [i.e., the price the gold merchant would pay the owner to purchase the gold from him] on the day the zakāh obligation is due. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
What is recommended for a Muslim to say on Laylat al-Qadr?
On Laylat al-Qadr, it is recommended for a Muslim to recite the supplication (du‘a) that the Prophet ﷺ taught Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her):
"O Allah, You are Most Forgiving, and You love forgiveness, so forgive me." [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi]