Is it permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer?
Yes, it is permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer.
Is it permissible to offer mandatory prayer while sitting?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions. Standing up is a pillar in the mandatory prayer and the prayer is not valid without it unless one cannot do it. As for Nafila (supererogatory prayer), one can perform it in the state of sitting even if he/she can stand, but his/her reward is half the reward of the person who prays while standing if he/sh has no legal excuse for such an act. And Allah Knows Best.
Does passing wind from the anus affect ritual purity?
Ablution is nullified by the passing of wind from the anus, but washing the anus is not required as wind leaves no impurity.
What is the ruling on swearing on the Holy Quran and breaking that oath?
It is impermissible to swear on the Holy Quran in vain, and it is also impermissible to subject it to such an act since breaking the oath after swearing on the Quran entails an expiation.