Who is responsible for performing the aqiqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The one upon whom the 'aqīqah is incumbent is whoever is obligated to financially maintain the newborn — whether the father, paternal grandfather, or mother. It is to be performed from their own wealth, not from the wealth of the newborn child.
As for one upon whom the financial maintenance of the newborn is not obligatory, they may not perform the 'aqīqah except with the permission of the one upon whom it is obligatory — namely, the father. And Allah Almighty knows best.
I broke my oath and am now obligated to pay the expiation for a broken oath (kaffārat al-yamīn). Would it be valid to fulfill this by inviting the poor and needy to a meal for them to eat from?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
The expiation for a broken oath (kaffārat al-yamīn) is given to the poor (fuqarā') and needy (masākīn), and it must be given in the form of ownership (tamlīk) transferred to them of the required amount — namely, one mudd of the staple food of the locality, or its equivalent monetary value. It isn`t valid to invite the poor or needy to a meal prepared for them to eat from, as this does not constitute "ownership" (tamlīk) but merely "permission to partake" (ibāḥah).
Imam al-Shirbīnī (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "What is intended is that ownership be transferred to them; therefore, providing them with lunch or dinner [as a meal to eat from] isn`t valid." [Summarized from Mughnī al-Muhtāj,Vol. 5/P.50]. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
What are the Sunnahs and etiquettes recommended for the person offering the Udhiyah?
In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
There are several Sunnahs (prophetic traditions) and etiquettes that are highly recommended for the person offering an Udhiyah (sacrificial offering) to observe:
First:
It is a Sunnah for anyone intending to offer a sacrifice to refrain from cutting or removing any of their hair or nails once the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah begin. This is based on the statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "When the ten days [of Dhul-Hijjah] begin and one of you intends to offer a sacrifice, let him not touch any of his hair or skin." (Narrated by Muslim)
However, if someone does happen to remove any hair or nails, they have not committed a sin, and their sacrifice remains perfectly valid.
Second:
The person offering the sacrifice should ideally slaughter the animal themselves. If they are unable to do so, they should at least witness its slaughter. This is drawn from what our Master, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), said to Lady Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her):
"Stand up and witness your sacrifice, for with its very first drop of blood, every sin you have committed will be forgiven." (Narrated by Al-Tabarani in his Mu'jam, Al-Hakim in his Mustadrak, and Al-Bayhaqi in his Sunan)
Third:
Face the Qiblah (the direction of prayer) at the time of slaughtering, as the Qiblah is the most honorable of directions.
Fourth:
Pronounce the name of Allah (Tasmiyah) at the moment of slaughter by saying: "Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim" (In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful). Even if one forgets to say it, the meat remains lawful (Halal) to eat. Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, says:
"So eat of that [meat] upon which the name of Allah has been mentioned." (Al-An'am: 118)
It is also recommended to send blessings upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and to follow it with the Takbeer (Allahu Akbar).
Fifth:
Supplicate for acceptance by saying: "Allahumma hadhihi minka wa ilayka, fa-taqabbal minni" (O Allah, this is a blessing from You and is offered back to You, so please accept it from me). This means: This sacrifice is a blessing that originated from You, and I am offering it to draw closer to You. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.
My father has debts and asked me to repay them years ago, and I promised him I would do so upon his death — is it permissible for me to go back on my promise given that I am unable to repay them, especially since he refuses to contribute to repayment on the grounds that the debt has become my responsibility by virtue of my promise?
All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
The established principle is that a father's debt is to be repaid from his own wealth, if he possesses sufficient means. As for the promise made by the son to repay it on his father's behalf, fulfilling such a promise is strongly recommended, and breaking it is considerably disliked. Shaykh al-Islām Imām al-Nawawī, may Allah have mercy upon him, states: "Fulfilling a promise is emphatically recommended, and breaking it is severely disliked. The evidences for this from the Qurʾān and the Sunnah are well known." [Rawḍat al-Ṭālibīn,Vol. 2/P.278] Shaykh al-Islām Imām Zakariyyā al-Anṣārī, may Allah have mercy upon him, further states: "The reason fulfilling a promise is not obligatory and breaking it is not forbidden is that a promise is in the nature of a gift, and a gift does not become binding except upon receipt." [Asnā al-Maṭālib fī Sharḥ Rawḍ al-Ṭālib,Vol. 2/P.487]
Given that the son does not possess the financial means to fulfil his promise to his father, breaking this promise falls beyond his capacity — and Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear. Since the father himself possesses sufficient wealth to settle his own debt, repayment must be made from his own funds. Should he pass away before doing so, the debt is to be settled from his estate. And Allah the Almighty knows best.