Who is responsible for performing the aqiqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
The one upon whom the 'aqīqah is incumbent is whoever is obligated to financially maintain the newborn — whether the father, paternal grandfather, or mother. It is to be performed from their own wealth, not from the wealth of the newborn child.
As for one upon whom the financial maintenance of the newborn is not obligatory, they may not perform the 'aqīqah except with the permission of the one upon whom it is obligatory — namely, the father. And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah (obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?
Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband. And Allah Knows Best.
What is the ruling on offering the sacrifice (uḍḥiyah) using the wealth of a minor or a legally incompetent person (safīh)?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is not permissible for the guardian (walī) of an orphan or a legally incompetent person (safīh) to offer the sacrifice (uḍḥiyah) on behalf of the minor or the safīh using their wealth, because the guardian is charged with exercising caution over their wealth and is prohibited from giving any of it away voluntarily, and the udḥiyah is a voluntary act of charity (tabarru'). The guardian may, however, offer the sacrifice using his own personal wealth. And Allah, the Most High, knows best.
How is the meat of the 'aqīqah to be distributed?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
If the 'aqīqah is a recommended one (mandūbah), it is obligatory to give some portion of it in charity to the poor — even if the amount is small — with the minimum being approximately half a kilogram of meat.
The most preferable manner of distribution is to divide it into three equal portions, as with the uḍḥiyyah:
One third for the guardian and his household to eat from
One third to be given in charity to the poor
One third to be gifted to friends and neighbours, even if they are wealthy
It is furthermore more preferable to send the food to the poor already cooked, rather than inviting them to come and eat. And Allah Almighty knows best.