When is Istikharah (guidance prayer) Du`a offered, before Tasleem (saying asalamu alikum warahmatu allah wa barakatuh to end the prayer), or after it?
It is offered after Tasleem.
Is Iddah (waiting period) incumbent on an old woman whose husband had died?
Upon the death of the husband, Iddah is incumbent on the wife regardless of their age. And Allah Knows Best.
Is a wife considered sinful if she asked for divorce because her husband married another woman?
A second marriage is lawful, and so it is impermissible for you to ask for divorce because of that. If you are certain that you won`t be able to deliver Allah`s rights and those of your husband`s , then it is permissible for you to ask for Khul`a (Divorce on the demand of the wife). However, you should exercise patience since after difficulties, there is easiness by the will of Allah.
Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.