Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
What is the ruling on wiping the white area behind the ears instead of wiping the head?
The obligation in ablution is to wipe some of the head; it is not a condition to wipe all of it. Wiping the white area behind the ears suffices for that. And Allah the almighty knows best.
How does one with a continuous condition (like urinary incontinence or non-menstrual vaginal bleeding - mustahada) perform ablution?
A person with a continuous condition must do three things:
1. Not perform ablution except after the prayer time has entered.
2. Change the bag or diaper placed to reduce the flow of urine or blood after the prayer time enters, wash the private part from blood or urine, and perform ablution immediately.
3. Perform the actions of ablution in immediate succession, then pray immediately without delay, unless he intends to pray with the congregation.
It is not permissible for a person with a continuous condition to combine two obligatory prayers with one ablution, as he must perform ablution for each obligatory prayer, even if making it up (qada'). And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible to pay the Zakah (obligatory charity) for settling the debt of a deceased relative?
It is impermissible to pay the Zakah for settling the debt of the deceased since Zakah is paid to eligible recipients who are alive. As for the debts of the deceased, they are to be settled from the estate before dividing it amongst the heirs, but if the deceased didn`t leave an estate, then it is desirable for his/her heirs to settle those debts if they can afford them. And Allah Knows Best.