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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

My husband discloses all our marital disputes to his family. What is the ruling of Islamic Law on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is impermissible to divulge spousal secrets or expose one another's faults, whether during the subsistence of the marriage or after its dissolution. The foundational principle governing marital relations is that it is built upon confidentiality and mutual affection. Divulging marital secrets constitutes a breach of trust and a grave sin.
 
A husband ought not to resort to his family to complain about his wife over every dispute, nor is the reverse permissible for the wife, especially when such actions lead to stirring up malice and animosity between the spouses or between their respective families.
 
Islam has enjoined the preservation of secrets in general and commanded against revealing them; safeguarding the privacy of the home holds an even greater priority. And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is it incumbent on a father to cover the marriage costs of his son if the latter couldn`t afford them?

The son should seek the help of his relatives in order to convince his father to do the aforesaid, and the father should make sure that his son doesn`t commit fornication through helping him to get married, and Allah will reward him for doing so.

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on a latecomer who joins the imam during the standing position of the first rakʿah but was unable to complete the recitation of al-Fātiḥah?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
If a latecomer (masbuq) joins the prayer while the imam is standing, he should begin reciting Sūrat al-Fātiḥah immediately, without pausing to recite the opening supplication (duʿāʾ al-istiftāḥ) or the seeking of refuge (taʿawwudh). If the imam bows before he completes al-Fātiḥah, he follows the imam into the bow and leaves whatever remains of al-Fātiḥah — the imam bears it on his behalf.
It is stated in ʿUmdat al-Sālik (p. 47): "If a latecomer finds the imam standing and is confident that he has enough time to recite the taʿawwudh and al-Fātiḥah in full, he may do so. If he is uncertain, he should neither recite the opening supplication nor the taʿawwudh, but rather begin directly with al-Fātiḥah. If the imam bows before he completes it, he follows him into the bow — provided he had not already begun the opening supplication or the taʿawwudh. If he had begun either of them, he continues reciting al-Fātiḥah for as long as he spent on them." And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is it incumbent on the fiancée to obey her fiancé?

When the woman settles in her husband`s house, it is incumbent on him to provide for her and it is incumbent on her to obey him. Before that, and if the marriage contract had been concluded, then she is lawfully his wife and thus she should abide by custom in treating him, but if the marriage contract hadn`t been concluded, then she should treat him as a non-Mahram (Marriageable).