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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?

The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.

Is it valid to share in the 'aqīqah by contributing a seventh share of a camel or cow?

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
Yes, it is permissible. If a group of people jointly share in the slaughter of a camel or a cow on behalf of seven individuals, this is valid — regardless of whether all of them intend the 'aqīqah, or some intend the 'aqīqah, others the uḍḥiyyah, and others simply the purchase of meat. And Allah Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible to sleep after the time of the Fajr prayer has begun, with the intention of waking up shortly afterward?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
If a person sleeps after the time of Fajr has begun, with the second adhān, then sleeping is forbidden (ḥarām) at that point, unless he is certain that he will wake up and perform the prayer within its time. And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on making up the regular pre-Dhuhr *sunnah* (*al-sunnah al-rātibah al-qabliyyah*) for one who missed it in the Dhuhr prayer?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
Every timed supererogatory prayer (nāfilah) is recommended (mandūb) to be made up if its time passes. As for a nāfilah that precedes the obligatory prayer, performing it before the farḍ is a matter of proper etiquette (adab); if it is prayed after the farḍ, it is still considered adāʾ (performed within its time). If the time of the farḍ has ended, it is recommended to make up (qaḍāʾ) the nāfilah for one who did not pray it.
Whoever misses the sunnah before Dhuhr, whether with an excuse or without one, it is recommended for him to pray it after the obligatory Dhuhr prayer, within the time of Dhuhr, even at its end, and it counts as adāʾ, not qaḍāʾ. It is also recommended for one who missed the pre-Dhuhr sunnah to pray it before the post-Dhuhr sunnah, in observance of the proper order. It is stated in ʿUmdat al-Sālik wa ʿUddat al-Nāsik (Vol.1/p.60): "What precedes the obligatory prayer has the same time as the obligatory prayer, and performing it before the farḍ is a matter of etiquette; after it, it is adāʾ. What follows the farḍ has its time begin with the performance of the farḍ and end with the end of its time."
If the time of Dhuhr has ended, it is recommended for him to pray both the pre- and post-Dhuhr sunnahs, and they count as qaḍāʾ for both. It is stated in ʿUmdat al-Sālik (1/61): "Every timed nafl, such as the ʿĪd prayer, Duha, Witr, and the regular rawātib of the obligatory prayers, if it is missed, it is recommended to make it up forever." And Allah Almighty knows best.