Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

In the Sharia-compliant viewing  at a prospective bride (*al-naẓrah al-sharʿiyyah*), is it permissible for the man to see the woman without a veil (*ḥijāb*)?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is sunnah for the suitor to see the woman he is seeking to marry within the limits the Sharīʿah permits, namely looking at the face and the hands (palms and backs), based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): “Look at her, for it is more likely to bring about harmony between you.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhī.
The suitor may also ask one of the women to look at the woman he is seeking to marry. In that case, she is permitted to see of her what she is normally permitted to see, which is not limited to the face and hands, and she then describes these matters to the suitor. It is narrated on the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sent Umm Sulaym to look at a girl, and said: “Smell her breath, and look at her heels.” Narrated by Aḥmad in his Musnad.
It is stated in Tuḥfat al-Muḥtāj (Vol.7/p.192): “For one who cannot easily look, or does not wish to look himself, it is sunnah to send someone who is permitted to look at her, to observe her and describe her to him, even regarding what he himself is not permitted to look at. He thereby gains through the sending what he would not gain through looking. Because of the added need for this, it is excepted from the prohibition of a woman describing another woman to a man.”
The permissibility of looking is conditional upon his resolve to marry her once he is able to, his predominant assumption that his proposal will be accepted, and his assumption that the woman is free of marriage and of a waiting period (ʿiddah). Otherwise, looking is forbidden.
Accordingly, it is not permissible for the suitor to look at anything other than the face and hands. He may ask one of his maḥram women, such as his mother or sister, to see the woman unveiled, and the Sharia-compliant viewing (of a prospective bride) must take place in the presence of one of the woman’s maḥrams. And Allah Almighty knows best.

What is the waiting period ('Iddah) for a woman whose husband has passed away, and what is the ruling on her wearing gold?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The waiting period ('Iddah) for a woman whose husband has passed away is four months and ten days for one who is not pregnant. As for a pregnant woman, her waiting period lasts until she gives birth. It is obligatory for her to remain in the marital home, only leaving for a necessity. During this time, it is prohibited (Haram) to display any form of adornment on the body or clothing; this includes wearing kohl, gold, all types of perfume, and dyeing the hair. Likewise, it is prohibited to receive a direct marriage proposal or to marry during this period.
 
It was narrated by Umm 'Atiyyah that the Prophet ﷺ said: 'We were forbidden to mourn for a deceased person for more than three days, except for a husband, for whom the mourning period is four months and ten days. During this time, we were not to use kohl, nor wear perfume, nor wear dyed clothing except for garments made of 'Asb (coarsely dyed yarn). We were, however, granted a concession at the time of purification—when one of us bathed following her menses—to use a small amount of Kust (costus) or Azfar (fragrant substances). We were also forbidden from following funeral processions.' (Narrated by Al-Bukhari). And Allah the Exalted knows best."

Is it permissible for someone with a physically demanding job, such as a baker or construction worker, to break their fast?

It is not permissible for someone with a physically demanding job to start the day intending to break their fast. They must make the intention to fast at night and begin fasting. However, if they reach a point where fasting becomes unbearably difficult, they may break their fast and make up for it later.

What is the ruling on discharging one's zakāh obligation through the provision of a specific benefit (manfa‘ah) — such as performing a surgical operation for a patient, or providing housing to a tenant, and counting the value of this service as zakāh?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is obligatory to pay zakāh from the actual asset (‘ayn al-māl) upon which zakāh is due, except in the case of zakāh on trade goods ('urūḍ at-tijārah), which is paid based on their monetary value. In all cases, zakāh must be given in the form of tamlīk (a full transfer of ownership), based on the words of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic (which mean): "Zakāh expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy, and for those employed to collect [zakāh], and for bringing hearts together [for Islam], and for freeing captives [or slaves], and for those in debt, and for the cause of Allah, and for the [stranded] traveler — an obligation [imposed] by Allah. And Allah is Knowing and Wise" [at-Tawbah/60]. The letter "lām" (لِ) in this verse — as in "lil-fuqarā'" ("for the poor") — indicates possession/ownership (lām al-milk).
It is not permissible to fulfill one's zakāh obligation by providing a benefit or service (manfa‘ah) — such as housing, education, or medical treatment — in place of the zakāh itself. This is because zakāh must be paid as wealth (māl) that is transferred into the ownership of the poor recipient, whereas such services are intangible benefits that are not, in themselves, capable of being formally transferred in ownership (ghayr qābilah lit-tamlīk). And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.