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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling of Islamic Law on supplicating with other than the transmitted (Ma'thur) supplications in prayer?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible to supplicate (make du'a) during the prayer for anything from the affairs of religion or worldly life, and the prayer is not invalidated by doing so.
Shaykh al-Islam, the Imam an-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, says: "Our madhhab [i.e., the Shafi'i madhhab] holds that it is permissible for a person to supplicate during it [the prayer] with anything that is permissible to supplicate with outside the prayer, from the affairs of religion or worldly life. He may say: 'O Allah, grant me wholesome sustenance, offspring, a house, and a beautiful young wife' — describing her; or: 'O Allah, free so-and-so from prison,' or 'destroy so-and-so,' and other such things — and none of this invalidates his prayer according to us. And this is also the view of Malik, ath-Thawri, Abu Thawr, and Ishaq." [Al-Majmu', Vol.3/P.454]. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

Is a woman`s prayer considered invalid if non-Mahrams (marriageable men) saw her offering it?

A woman`s prayer isn`t invalidated if non-Mahrams saw her offering it, but she had better pray in isolation.

Is it recommended (mustaḥabb) for the one offering  a voluntary sacrifice (uḍḥiyyat taṭawwuʿ) to eat from its meat?

In the Name of Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
It is highly recommended (Mustahabb) for the person offering a voluntary Udhiyah (sacrificial animal) to eat from its meat, but it is not an obligatory requirement (Wajib). Allah the Almighty says {what means}: "So eat of them and feed the needy who do not beg and the beggar. Thus have We subjected them to you that you may be grateful." (Al-Hajj/ 36)
 
"So eat of them": This directive is an encouraging recommendation, not a binding command.
 
The Qani’ (the needy who do not beg): Refers to a poor person who refrains from asking people for help out of dignity.
 
The Mu’tarr (the beggar): Refers to a poor person who explicitly asks others for assistance. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible to pay the Zakah (obligatory charity) for settling the debt of a deceased relative?

It is impermissible to pay the Zakah for settling the debt of the deceased since Zakah is paid to eligible recipients who are alive. As for the debts of the deceased, they are to be settled from the estate before dividing it amongst the heirs, but if the deceased didn`t leave an estate, then it is desirable for his/her heirs to settle those debts if they can afford them. And Allah Knows Best.