Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

How do I deal with whispers (waswasa) in ablution and purification?

Whispers in ablution are from Satan, and the Muslim should not pay attention to them. He is not required to re-perform ablution or repeat washing a limb because of waswasa. He should always base his purification on its being valid. It is recommended for him to frequently say "La ilaha illa Allah" (There is no god but Allah), because Satan recoils when Allah is mentioned. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is it permissible for a woman in her menstrual period to recite from the Mus-haf (copy of the Quran ), or to recite by heart?

A menstruating woman is permitted neither to recite nor to touch the Quran according to what Ali Bin Abi Talib (May Allah be pleased with him) reported about the Prophet (PBUH) who was only held from reciting the Holy Quran by Janabah (Major impurity) [Al-Tirmizi in a sound Hadith]. Although Janabah and menstruation are major impurities, a menstruating woman is permitted to supplicate Allah (Duaa`) and make Zikr (Tasbihat ), even if these involved saying words from the Holy Quran, provided that she does not mean the words for themselves but as a supplication, or Zikr. Moreover, she is rewarded for not reciting the Quran during her menstrual period because she abided by the injunctions of Allah.

What is the ruling on forgiving a tenant next month's rent, with the intention of counting it toward zakāh al-māl?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It does not fulfill the obligation to count the rent owed on a house, or a portion of it, in lieu of zakāh. Rather, it is necessary to first transfer ownership of the zakāh amount to the poor person directly; only afterward may he be asked to pay the rent [from that money].
It is stated in ‘Umdat as-Sālik (p. 112): "If someone gives [money] to a poor person, stipulating that the recipient return it to him in payment of a debt owed to him, or says, 'I am making what you owe me into zakāh, so take it [as such]' — this is not valid. But if he gives it to him with the [unstated] intention that the recipient will use it to repay him, or says, 'Repay what you owe me, so that I may [then separately] give it to you as zakāh,' or the debtor himself says, 'Give it to me, so that I may [then] repay you with it' — this is valid, and there is no binding obligation for the recipient to actually fulfill this [informal understanding]."
We would also remind [the reader] of the ḥadīth of the Prophet ﷺ: "The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim: he does not wrong him, nor does he abandon him [to harm]. Whoever attends to the needs of his brother, Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, will attend to his needs. Whoever relieves a Muslim of a hardship, Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, will relieve him of one of the hardships of the Day of Resurrection. And whoever conceals [the faults of] a Muslim, Allah will conceal him on the Day of Resurrection." (Agreed upon). And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

What is the ruling on the Friday bath (ghusl al-Jumu'ah)?

The Friday bath is a confirmed Sunnah, based on the Prophet's (peace be upon him) saying: "Whoever performs ablution on Friday, it is good for him, and whoever takes a bath, bathing is better." (Reported by Abu Dawud and al-Tirmidhi who said it is a hasan hadith). It is recommended for everyone who wants to attend the Friday prayer, even if they are not from its usual attendees, like a woman or a boy.
If a person is in a state of major impurity (junub) and intends by his bath both lifting the major impurity and the Friday bath, he achieves both. If he intends only one of them, he achieves only what he intended. And Allah the Almighty knows best.