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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for the woman who is observing Iddah after her husband`s death to sit with her daughter`s suitor, although their marriage contract hasn`t been concluded yet?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
A suitor who hasn`t concluded the marriage contract isn`t a Mahram*, so he must be treated as such. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* The period a woman must observe after the death of her husband or after a divorce, during which she may not marry another man.
* In Islam, a mahram is a member of one's family with whom marriage would be considered haram, concealment purdah, or concealment of the body with hijab, is not obligatory; and with whom, if he is an adult male, she may be escorted during a journey, although an escort may not be obligatory.

Does fasting on behalf of a deceased person permissible?

Fasting on belhaf of a deceased person is permissible, since the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whoever dies while he still has some fasts to make up (of the days of Ramadan), then his heir (any of them) should fast on his behalf." [Agreed upon]. The previous answer is for making up missed obligatory fasts on behalf of the deceased. But if the fasting on behlaf of the deceased was for performing  a voluntary acts of devotion such as fasting....is permissible as adopted by the majority of Muslim scholars and based on the above hadith as they stated "Every good dead intended to be on behalf of the deceased its reward will reach the latter." And Allah Knows Best.  

 

Is it permissible to pay the Zakah (obligatory charity) for settling the debt of a deceased relative?

It is impermissible to pay the Zakah for settling the debt of the deceased since Zakah is paid to eligible recipients who are alive. As for the debts of the deceased, they are to be settled from the estate before dividing it amongst the heirs, but if the deceased didn`t leave an estate, then it is desirable for his/her heirs to settle those debts if they can afford them. And Allah Knows Best.

I suffer from chronic asthma which requires ventoline inhale; which is an air causes the risperatory track/airways to expand. Am I permited to use it during the daylight of Ramadan? And does break one's fast? Noting that I can't go an entire day without using it?

Taking inhaler through the mouth or the nose breaks one's fast, because it is meant to reach the lungs which are part of the coelom. Therefore, whosoever use inhalers for couple of days is obliged to preserve his fasting and make up that day later. As for the ones the ones who need to use it every days are obliged to preserve his fast and feed a poor per day and the cost of feeding one poor is estimated (60) piasters for the year (1421AH). And Allah Knows Best.