Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the waiting period ('Iddah) for a woman whose husband has passed away, and what is the ruling on her wearing gold?

Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
 
The waiting period ('Iddah) for a woman whose husband has passed away is four months and ten days for one who is not pregnant. As for a pregnant woman, her waiting period lasts until she gives birth. It is obligatory for her to remain in the marital home, only leaving for a necessity. During this time, it is prohibited (Haram) to display any form of adornment on the body or clothing; this includes wearing kohl, gold, all types of perfume, and dyeing the hair. Likewise, it is prohibited to receive a direct marriage proposal or to marry during this period.
 
It was narrated by Umm 'Atiyyah that the Prophet ﷺ said: 'We were forbidden to mourn for a deceased person for more than three days, except for a husband, for whom the mourning period is four months and ten days. During this time, we were not to use kohl, nor wear perfume, nor wear dyed clothing except for garments made of 'Asb (coarsely dyed yarn). We were, however, granted a concession at the time of purification—when one of us bathed following her menses—to use a small amount of Kust (costus) or Azfar (fragrant substances). We were also forbidden from following funeral processions.' (Narrated by Al-Bukhari). And Allah the Exalted knows best."

A woman became pure [from menstruation] before Fajr, but did not perform ghusl until after sunrise — what is the ruling on her fast?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Her fast is valid, since ghusl (ritual bathing) is not a condition for the validity of the fast, but rather for the validity of the prayer. However, she is sinful for delaying the Fajr prayer beyond its designated time without a valid excuse.
It is known that the time for Fajr prayer ends at sunrise. Nevertheless, she must still perform ghusl, and make up the Fajr prayer. And Allah, the Exalted, knows best.

I work overtime after regular working hours and may become occupied with my phone or the work computer for personal matters — what is the ruling on this?

All praise is due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
It is obligatory upon an employee to abide by the instructions and regulations governing overtime hours, and equally obligatory to uphold honesty and avoid all forms of deception and dishonesty. Allah the Almighty says {what means}: "O you who have believed, be mindful of Allah and be with the truthful." [Al-Tawbah/ 119]
Whoever is assigned to work overtime must be present at his workplace — even if he has no specific tasks to carry out at that time. In such a case, he should strive as best he can to spend that time in a manner that benefits the institution he works for. If there is genuinely no work for him to do, there is no objection to occupying his time with something beneficial — such as reciting the Holy Qurʾān, reading, or listening to educational lessons — provided he has already completed all the responsibilities assigned to him.
If, however, he does have work to complete, he must spend that time fulfilling it. He may attend to phone calls or other personal matters to the extent that is customarily acceptable, as long as this does not result in delaying or postponing his work. If he delays his work on account of personal preoccupations, the wages he received for that wasted time are not lawfully his to keep, and he is obliged to return the equivalent amount to the institution by whatever means available to him. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

What is the ruling on swearing on the Holy Quran and breaking that oath?

It is impermissible to swear on the Holy Quran in vain, and it is also impermissible to subject it to such an act since breaking the oath after swearing on the Quran entails an expiation.