Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?
Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.
Someone wiped over his shoes after wearing them in a state of purity, then took them off and prayed without them?
Ablution is not invalidated by taking off leather socks or shoes after wiping over them. However, whoever takes them off after wiping must wash his feet only. If he prayed without washing his feet, he must wash his feet and repeat the prayer. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.
What is the ruling on discharges two or three days before the expected period of menstruation and the light-colored blood accompanying it? Must the woman abstain from prayer during this period?
If the total duration of these blood-tinged discharges reaches a day and a night (24 hours) or more, it is considered menstruation. If their total does not exceed 24 hours, it is not considered menstruation but is irregular bleeding (dam al-fasad). Each woman has specific cases for which she should ask the scholars. And Allah the Almighty knows best.